Twelve Grapes

Chris and I had big plans for New Year’s. We were going to carry out all of our normal traditions plus throw in some new Mexican ones for good measure, because after all, you can never have too much luck, love or money.

Our U.S. traditions really only consist of a kiss at midnight and eating black-eyed peas for luck and collard greens for money on New Year’s Day. We don’t like collard greens, so we never eat them, and thus we are not rich. Chris decided we were going to eat collards this year, like it or not, and then he failed to find any at the grocery store. Once again, we must suffer through another year without wealth.

The Mexican traditions promised to be much more entertaining: sweeping around the door and out of the house to rid it of the bad things from the past year; sweeping in coins for prosperity in the new year; wearing red underwear for love or yellow for wealth, but never both at the same time; walking around the block with a suitcase for the opportunity to travel; and eating 12 grapes and making a wish upon each one at the stroke of midnight.

We were going to do them all. And 2012 was going to be so awesome. But then we fell asleep-- on the couch, waiting for animatronic Dick Clark to announce the ball dropping in Times Square. And our year was ruined.

Crap.

In the morning, we ate our grapes and made our wishes anyway. I think exhausted parents should be entitled to a grace period on New Year’s magic.  Besides, I think I can make these wishes come true this year without the help of superstition.

1.  Teach the kids to roller skate, or at least to roll/fall with style.

2.  Photograph the sun setting over the ocean.

3. Jump on the trampoline every day. It makes me happy.

4.  Lose 5% of my weight. Nothing like a little healthy competition hosted by the consulate to get me motivated.

5.  Get published somewhere other than my blog.

6.  Print and frame pictures, i.e., for the love of all that is good and holy, display some pictures of our poor third child.

7.  Read a book a month, preferably one that’s not made of cardboard or that rhymes.

8.  See the Grand Canyon.

9.  Drink less Coke and more water, and just to clarify, putting ice in my Coke will not count towards drinking more water.

10.  Go camping in Redwood National Park.

11.  Put more thought into dinner. Looking through the pantry at 6 p.m. for things to throw together for a meal is so 2011.

12.  Get a decent family picture, kind of like this one, except where I have a smaller butt.