The Wake Up Call

I'm not a morning person, but my children are.  The earlier they get up, the longer I try to stay in bed.  

Of course the biggest loser in this battle of wills is Chris, whose quiet morning routine is interrupted by the stomping of little feet and the squealing for cups of milk, as each child awakes at various times and in various states of happiness. If it's a good day, only one kid will get up before me.  If it's a really good day, that one kid won't be Andrew.

Because for Andrew, one cognizant parent is just not enough.  On those mornings that I'm caught snoozing, Andrew's mission is to coax me from the warm blankets of my bed by bringing me "gifts."  I often wake to find my glasses and cell phone resting on my pillow, and sometimes I find a dinosaur or train, and once, I even found an unopened tampon.  If I'm really lucky, he'll give me kisses to sweeten the deal.

This morning as I was enjoying the last minutes of a deep slumber, I felt something unusual scrape across my face.  As my brain struggled to consciousness, the scraping moved from my chin, to my lip and then on to my arm.  I thought it was a Matchbox car, because, honestly, what else could it be?  I hoped that if I ignored it, it would go away.  I dared not open my eyes.

But then my arm started to sting.  Really sting.  And I noticed that my face was stinging too.  I opened my eyes, fumbled around for my glasses and tried to make sense of the blurry image before me.  As my glasses slid into place, I realized that it was no Matchbox car clutched in Andrew's chubby little hand.

With a grin that stretched to the twinkle in his dark green eyes, Andrew proudly presented daddy's razor.  I was getting a shave, just like daddy, who of course, was no where in sight. And mission accomplished: I was awake.

Now I have razor burn, but at least I don't need to wax-- that one spot on my chin, my bottom lip or the underside of my left arm, because, you know, those places were totally hairy. 

I just wish the little booger hadn't missed my eyebrows.