A One-Sided Conversation with a Paper Doll

Meet Gordon.  He's a vampire.

Gordon was born today of humble beginnings-- just a black sheet of foam, cut to pieces and pasted together with white glue.  He didn't look like much, but Gordon was loved.  He was loved literally from pieces and to pieces.  I mean his legs fell off, and there was much sorrow in the land.  And no one could remember who had dealt that fatal tug.

You'd think we never give them any toys.

I can only assume that Gordon's assembly had something to do with our good friend Mr. Snuggly Buns recent visit to Tijuana.  I must take a moment to apologize to Snugs (we call him that for short) for so rudely neglecting to document his trip. 

Snugs (sniff, sniff), I am truly sorry, and I hope that you can find it in your paper-thin, little heart, to forgive me for such an egregious offense.  It was not for lack of joy during your stay but for sorrow upon your departure that you have not, thus far, graced the html of this blog.

Moving on.

If you've never had a Flat Stanley come to your house, you are missing out on the world's best kind of house guest.  They listen to what you have to say, agree with all of your suggested activities, and they don't take up much space.  Any flat surface will do.  They also don't complain about dinner, their legs never get tired of being tourists and their feet do not stink.

Don't believe me?  Check this out.

Hello Mr. Snuggly Buns.  Welcome to Tijuana.  How was your trip?

Wow. You must be exhausted, but I'd really love to show you around.  Would you like to see the U.S./Mexico border fence?  It starts here in the Pacific Ocean and divides Tijuana from San Diego.

Smile Snugs.  You're in the friendly part of Friendship Park.  It's not so friendly from the U.S. anymore, since it is completely inaccessible.  The park was designed to allow friends and families from both sides of the border to reunite.

But that's enough about the border.  How about a zonkey ride?  Zonkeys are donkeys painted like zebras.  It usually costs $8 to get your picture made with one, but Flat Stanleys ride for free.

Whew!  Zonkeys make me hungry.  Would you like a snack?  Apples with Tajin are our favorites.  Tajin is salty and spicy and delicious.

Healthy snacks make me crave candy.  Do you like your candy spicy?

 

Now my mouth is hot.  Want to get some nieve?  That's border Spanish for ice cream.  They call it helado in the rest of the Spanish speaking world, but here in Tijuana, it's known as nieve con agua (sorbet) or nieve con leche (ice cream).  Nieve is the Spanish word for snow.  What flavor do you want?  There are 98 to choose from.

 

So you see, no matter what we made him do, Snugs smiled for every photo.  And for that, we let him keep his legs.  

Let that be a lesson to you, Gordon.