Wild Animals

(Note to reader:  I am clearly not the blogger that my wife is.  Please bear with me, so she will continue to give me access to post.)

People posted to Africa and the Far East may have exciting new cultures to experience, but here in Tijuana, we have one of the U.S.'s finest cities - San Diego. So, as part of our adventure, we went to the world famous San Diego Zoo last weekend.

And yes, it is an amazing zoo, full of animals from around the world. There is a good reason why it is world famous.  For example, it actually has moving walkways like in the airport to help you get around.  No one, however, with the exception of perhaps my mother-in law is really interested in seeing a long stream of animal photos. So instead, here are some of my observations about the San Diego Zoo that you won't find in any travel guide or tourist book.

A) Animals bear a striking resemblance to people, especially people making animal noises (as my children often do). We watched a family of five chimpanzees and couldn't help but notice their family dynamic was eerily familiar. There was a Daddy Chimp, lazing in the sun (imaginary TV remote in hand) resting comfortably in the knowledge that he was master of his little world. The Jacob and Benjy Chimps were wrestling in the grass. And the Mommy Chimp was trying to take a nap while the Andrew Chimp climbed on her head and pulled her hair. I could almost hear her yelling, "Go bother your father."  It's good to be the Daddy.


Proof as to the resemblance: Can you tell which of these mohawked monkeys is Jacob?










B) Animals like to show you their backsides. We saw a polar bear butt, a panda butt, lots of monkey butts, and a single crocodile butt. Now that I think of it, I think we saw every type of animal butt available at the zoo. But, we also saw people butts, fully exposed, if you know what I mean. I'm talking about a full moon in broad daylight. (Further proof of observation A).  While we were eating lunch, not one, but two people bent over and at least 6 inches of crack climbed into view. Fortunately, we were able to redirect the kids' attentions, before they could be scarred for life. The only consolation was that the sign next to the Zebras said "True Wild Asses can only be found in parts of Africa and Asia," so the ones we saw yesterday must have been bred in captivity.

C) Forget about weapons of mass destruction, cheap labor or monetary fiscal policy. China could take over the world with pandas. Unlike all the other exhibits, where people could go at their own pace, the panda area was cordoned off with a rope that strictly controlled the flow of visitors, and a droning voice reminded guests that pandas like a quiet environment. Still practically everyone had to be in line to see the pandas.  I'm sure even the monkeys would have lined up if someone let them out of their cages.  Change that droning voice to some sort of political message, and people would scamper in from miles around to be brainwashed by the promise of pandas.  It would be like an evil private club at the zoo, except everyone would eventually get in, whether they had pulled up their pants or not.

D)  On a 60 degree February day, you can see all kinds of outfits in San Diego. I actually saw a woman wearing a fur hat complete with cat ears. The locals were freezing in their scarves and face masks, and the tourists were overjoyed at the fair weather and were sporting shorts and flip-flops. Either way, I thought they should have been able to feel the cool wind on their cheeks-- both sets.

It was a great day, but by the end of it, we were ready to go home-- to Tijuana, where the people aren't quite so nuts. There might be crime and shootings, but there are a lot less (bear/bare?) butts.

Oh, and I kind of lied about the stream of pictures.  Here are just a few:

Lisa pretends like she was the one carrying Andrew all day.

Who doesn't love the Skyfari?

I'll take the one in the middle.

Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting...on a moving sidewalk.

This gorilla was a good sport.