Best. Husband. Ever.

Since Lisa blogged about how great our house is, I figured that I should blog about the other awesome thing we have here in Mexico -- me.

You see, last weekend Lisa decided that she wanted to see Emma at the Old Globe in San Diego. Since I'm not really into Jane Austen novels, especially ones that have been turned into musicals for a stage production, I graciously offered to care for our children for the whole day, alone, while she went off to play with her friends.

No big deal, right? I mean they are my children, so I should take an active role in their lives. Of course, she had one more demand before she left on her glorious day of girly fun -- no hanging around the house in our underwear watching movies. What does she think guys are supposed to do? Apparently, video games were also off limits. We had to go somewhere. (Seriously, the nerve of the woman. Take all three children out on a Saturday? Doesn't she know that's her job, not mine? But I digress...)

However, not to be put out. I sprang into action. I made some quick lunches (microwaved chicken nuggets to be eaten on the way to the border), and we all piled in the SUV to go to the science center in Balboa Park. That was at noon, just 30 minutes after Lisa had left.

It only took us 45 minutes to get to the parking area at Balboa Park, but that's where our good timing ended. For an hour and a half, I circled the lots, searching for any available space. I even resorted to stalking people to their spaces, which generally I am against. At Christmas time, I will take my time as someone waits for my spot with their blinker blinking, because it makes me feel rushed. This time, however, I was getting desperate, and Jacob had voluntarily put his Nintendo DS away because he was starting to feel, in his words, "swoozy".

Unfortunately, every person that I stalked was not leaving. They were getting picnic baskets or changing diapers or messing with my head. I swear, one person went to the car with his son, got in, spanked him, and then got out again and went back inside the building.

Finally, I gave up and headed to the beach instead with two sleeping children and a potential vomit bomb in the far back who kept wondering why we never got into the science center. Apparently, I have the worst parking luck ever.

I imagine at this time Lisa was sitting in her velvety seat with no one screaming or crying or threatening to vomit all over the place. Jane Austen never sounded so good.

So, the boys and I went to the beach where we got covered in sand and a dog tried to eat Benjy and Jacob while they dug a hole that they called a volcano. It seems that their plan was to bury Andrew in this supposed "volcano." I assume this was some kind of made up sacrifice to ensure that they never had to spend another day out with me again.

Andrew squealed in the swing while his brothers plotted his impending sacrifice.

In addition to her "get out of the house and do something fun with the boys" edict, Lisa had also left explicit instructions for me to buy eggs. I decided a trip to Walmart was in order, and since I was going to Walmart anyway I thought I should buy hot dogs, because who doesn't love hot dogs? Well, there may be people who don't, but my children are not among them, and they would love me for grilling them. But we didn't have a grill--yet. I would buy that at Walmart, too. We would eat hot dogs, and the boys would love it, and I would be the best daddy ever, and no one would ever remember that we never made it to the science center.

The trip to Walmart was a success. There were no tears, nothing got broken, no one got lost, and everyone made it out alive. Still, I have little experience with all three children in a big store without Lisa to referee. To keep control, I had to wear Andrew on my back in the thing-a-ma-jig that Lisa bought us. I don't know how many times women pointed and smiled or commented on how comfortable he looked. Apparently, they aren't used to seeing an awesome dad at Walmart with three small children on a Saturday.

We left with the hot dogs, a grill, and everything else that we needed, which included the "new" Indiana Jones movie (it was on sale) and the game of Life. I know, I'm kind of a sucker.

When we finally got home, I still had to assemble the grill before my hot dogs could be charbroiled to perfection. I assume that this normally would have taken about half an hour, but I had three little helpers, so it took three hours. I found out later that while I was looking for pieces (Jacob kept hiding them) and the instructions (Benjy was reading them in Spanish) while being hit in the head with a screw driver (Andrew likes tools), Lisa was enjoying a fine dinner of Italian pasta and scoring free dessert.

When Lisa walked in the door at 8 p.m., I was serving hot dogs to two sleepy little boys. The littlest one had past out long before. We were watching Indiana Jones, and they declared it to be the best day ever. They did, however, admit they missed Mommy a little bit.

So our house may be great, but I am awesome. And GSO had nothing to do with me.