Candy corn should be illegal.
That was harsh. Let me try again.
Candy corn should be a controlled substance.
That's better. And true. Have you ever tried to eat just one? It's physically impossible. Those sugary kernels are addictive.
I might add, that it should also be illegal for CVS to sell them for 10 cents a bag, thus forcing me to buy multiple bags of the delicious addictive substance, because, who can resist that kind of bargain? Not me, that's for sure.
And you know, I share with the kids, but they just don't eat as fast as I do. Is that my fault? I think not. I try to pace myself and savor each color of the tri-colored corn bit-by-tasty-bit, but before you know it, the bag is empty. And I'm like "Who ate all the candy corn?" And they kids are like, "You did, Mom." So I remind them that children should be seen and not heard, especially if they're going to sell out their mom who carried them in her body for nine long months and underwent three c-sections so that they might live and then changed their diapers and fed them and loved them and bought them toys, which they will never ever get again if they tell anyone that I ate all the candy corn.
They're in their room now plotting an intervention and hiding all the candy corn. But they don't know about that bag that I hid in the dishwasher.
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| Shhh. Don't tell anyone, okay. |
10 cents a bag? How could you have not told me this sooner?
ReplyDeleteAfter you told me about the CVS deal, I, too, bought 2 bags of candy corn (6 cents a bag on the East coast), and I am not sharing, since you are not here, and therefore, no need to hide either. But I loved your hilarious blog and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious!! I feel totally the same way! The dishwasher cracks me up!! At one post we had a portable one that you had to drag across the room and connect to the sink everytime you needed to use it -- obviously it wasn't going to be used if it took that much hassle -- so I put it in the guest bathroom, where it served as a counter top as well as THE BEST PLACE EVER to store presents and treats that I wanted to savor :) Rock on, candy crack girl, rock on!!
ReplyDeleteYou should send all the candy corn to me. No really, I insist. I need to protect you from yourself.
ReplyDelete