Faking Fall

I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty much a corn maze expert.  Try to contain your jealousy while I explain.

You see, when you spend a number of years living in Illinois where pretty much all they have is corn fields, you look forward to the fall when they put those fields to good use-- by cutting a maze through them, of course, preferably in the shape of Abe Lincoln's head.  Rural churches often take advantage of this fund raising opportunity, so we sometimes frequented more than one a year, because we believe in supporting the community (and trying to lose our children).

Finding a maze to lose the kids in was tough this year, though.  Apparently, corn fields are not popular in southern California and cutting mazes in them is even more rare.  Most people I talked to had never even heard of a corn maze until that Massachusetts family got lost in one this year and made the news.  I'm not sure how that even happens.  Like I said, I've been trying for years to lose people in one.

Anyway, a friend from the midwest did some internet research and found "the largest corn maze in Southern California" two hours away in Temecula.  It also touted itself as "world famous," which I'm pretty sure the owners just made up, seeing as I'm an expert and I had never heard of it.  I had my doubts, but a corn maze is a corn maze, largest or not, and it seemed to be the only hope we had for down-on-the-farm fall fun.

Although I found the $9 entrance fee to be exorbitant, the

maze itself was pretty good.  There were even a few glorious minutes when we lost the children, but the loops of the maze brought them back to us before we could head for the emergency exit.  

We all wore pants because that's what you do in October, only to later curse that decision as the temperature soared to 100 degrees.  Despite our discomfort, 80 percent of us kept our pants on.

The heat, of course, completely ruined the illusion of fall that Big Horse Corn Maze had so carefully orchestrated with their scores of pumpkins and bales of hay.  I guess you can't have it all.  

Nonetheless, it was fun to pretend. Fake fall is definitely better than no fall.  At least that's what I told the kids while I was treating them for heat exhaustion.

Cannon ball!  Into corn kernels.

Pumpkin bowling, Fred Flintstone style

Pig race: Oscar vs. Mayer

Pants optional digging.

Pumpkin Bounce