As my spouse/wife/better half and EFM (for eligible family member because in the Foreign Service everything has to have an acronym), Lisa can take language courses through FSI for free. As you could expect, knowing some of the local language will help ease her transition into a foreign culture. However, despite what you may think, this is not because the U.S. government is really that interested in her ability to go shopping or make friends. They provide these classes mostly so that she can help me do my job. You see, your tax dollars are hard at work, because a married Foreign Service Officer can mingle with twice as many people, develop better relationships with important people (by drawing in their spouse/partner), and provide eye-candy at boring cocktail hours. It's two for the price of one.
In fact, it really has not been that long since there was a place on the officer evaluation form for the performance of the spouse (which was filled out by the Ambassador's wife). I wish they would bring this back, because then my career would take off. I would put in a hard day at the office and come home to a five course dinner party of foreign dignitaries hosted by my wife in a cocktail dress-- all three boys in little matching suits with bow ties or in bed, depending on the kind of dinner it was-- and she would politely discuss current events while pouring us all some kind of fancy drink and serving appetizers. All Lisa needs is just a little Spanish-- and I emphasize little-- to make this happen.This is where the Online Spanish course has come in handy. As opposed to some of my friends and colleagues whose spouses have physically gone to FSI to study a language, Lisa doesn't have time to waste on things outside of her domestic dominion, like nuclear proliferation or the role of narco-violence on the 2012 elections in Mexico. No, she is learning Spanish that will make her the perfect Foreign Service EFM/ Stepford wife.
For example, today, she learned how to introduce herself in Spanish and say, "Estoy de acuerdo" - which means "I agree." It's good that they aren't rushing things. Against my better judgment, I told her that for some variety, she could add "no" on the beginning of the phrase and change the meaning, but she told me that she was going to stick to the learning plan. It's quite a nice change of pace to have her agreeing with me all day long, even if it is only in Spanish. Fortunately, she has also learned "¡Que amable!" - "How nice!" Effectively, this means that Lisa simply doesn't have the Spanish vocabulary to be mean or disagreeable.
At some point in the not too distant future, the Ambassador, the Foreign Prime Minister, some important military officers, and maybe even President Obama himself would arrive for a delightful meal at my home, and everyone would leave happy. Next thing you know, I would be promoted, and the Ambassador's wife would have glowing things to put on my performance report about my wife.
Hey, look, it could happen. And step one is online Spanish.
Too funny!
ReplyDelete