The Poltergeist

Something is wreaking havoc at my house. Everywhere I look I see chaos.

Something ripped all the Kleenex from the box and shredded much of it into tiny pieces.

Something spewed toys from the toy box all over the living room.

Something left a ghostly hand print on the white wall.

Something drew many, many pictures of Mario and Captain Underpants and left them scattered all over the table.

Something even peed all over the toilet seat. (Photo unavailable).

Well, it was more like three somethings. Three little somethings with blond hair, blue eyes and innocent smiles.

So, yes, all that damage can be accounted for. But, believe it or not, we've had some happenings around here lately that can only be described as inexplicable. And they all happen in the dining room.

It started with this toy. It looks innocent enough, but after the boys are in bed and the house is dark, it plays on its own.

Chris and I are always in the living room, mostly watching TV, when the toy interrupts.

"Red apple," it says enthusiastically in a child's voice, followed by giggling. It's only supposed to talk when its buttons are pushed.

Maybe we've seen too many Child's Play movies, but it's really kind of creepy. Nevertheless, we wrote these reoccurring incidents off to toy malfunction, and only half-heartedly joked that it was a ghost.

But then, this happened.

All three boys were playing in the back yard, and I was in another part of the house, when we heard a thunderous crash. I rushed to the dining room expecting to find a guilty little boy who'd knocked over a chair or something equally as innocent and explainable. Instead, I found the top shelf of the hutch had collapsed on one side, knocking open the glass door and sending my beautiful china teapot to the floor. It lay in dozens of shattered pieces on the hardwood floor.

When Chris came home and inspected the damage, he found absolutely no reason that the shelf should have fallen. The pegs holding it in place were still intact, and he was able to put the shelf back in place with very little effort. We were baffled.

The poltergeist has also hidden two library books, last seen in the dining room and due back this week. She's very naughty.

It's still undetermined whether or not we actually have a ghost lurking about the dining room, but until we get to the bottom of this, I'm keeping the kids away from mirrors, creepy dead religious cult leaders and static-y televisions.