I am out of grits, and I can’t find a
grocery store in southern California that stocks anything except
gross, instant packets. Grits should never, ever be instant.
Fortunately, Mom arrives in 25 days to restock my pantry!
Twenty-five days is a long time to wait for
grits, I mean... Mom. That’s a long time to wait for Mom. She’s
staying for 10 days, and I can’t wait until she gets here. I’m
stocking up on toilet paper and trying to figure out this year’s
thoughtful gift. It needs to be something really special. And
thoughtful. Like plastic Easter eggs.
We certainly have enough plastic Easter eggs
to share after last week’s hunt at the consulate. Best egg hunt
ever. Or lamest. Depends on your point of view. No adults engaged
in mortal combat to “help” their kids snag eggs.
Probably because Jacob would have kicked
their butts with his ninja skills. Jacob advanced to yellow belt in
Tae Kwon Do last week. He’s certainly beginning to look
threatening.
 |
|
Don't let the smile fool you.
That boy (with his teacher) is
a lethal weapon.
|
But not as threatening as Chris, who has
been taking Tae Kwon Do as well, and who comes home in various shades
of purple every week. If you ask me, it looks like he’s joined
Fight Club. Scabbed over knuckles, swollen and bruised toes, and
arms covered in sleeves of contusions. It’s so hot.
Speaking of hot, Jacob got pretty hot
sitting outside our wall yesterday after he “ran away from home.”
He packed two plastic grocery bags full of clothes, books and
plastic Easter eggs filled with candy and announced that he was leaving. I told him
goodbye and opened the door for him, reminding him that he didn’t
have water, his passport or any idea how to get to the U.S. I spied
on him from the upstairs balcony until he decided to ring the
doorbell and come back home. Sometimes I just can’t figure out how
his mind works.
Like when he announced at dinner the other
night that he was “black toast intolerant.” I was ready to agree
with him that I, too, was black toast intolerant (yuck) until he
explained that it meant that he was allergic to shrimp. Apparently,
shrimp make him itchy.
You know what makes me itchy? Filling out
forms. I’ve filled out about a zillion forms this week because...
I got a JOB.
Pending a top secret security clearance, I
will be starting work as the new part-time Co-Community Liaison
Office Coordinator of U.S. Consulate General Tijuana. Sounds fancy.
Fanciest job title I’ve ever had. I’ll be going by Ms. Fancy
Pants for short.
Congrats on the job! Does that mean you get a free trip to DC without kids for training?
ReplyDeleteProbably not, since I barely had enough time left at post to qualify for the job, but we'll see.
DeleteWell, Ms. Fancy Pants, That was a pretty clever tactic to combine at least six blogs into one. I give you an A for creativity and humor, however, a lash with a wet noodle for disclosing the delicate matter about "TP." (wink)
ReplyDeleteCongrats, on the job Ms. Fancy Pants!!!
ReplyDeleteReal toilet paper is always an appropriate item to secure, in mass quantity, and should be viewed as a thoughtful gift at most posts.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your new job, FP. Please don't let it get in the way of your blogging, though!
Congratulations! You'll be an excellent CLO :-).
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the new job! and impressive blog - you had it all... humor, danger (ninjas are always dangerous especially in pairs), anticipation (25 more days), intrigue (will the tp last?), and victory (congrats again Ms. Fancy Pants!)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the newest job!! And I love the updated title :)
ReplyDelete