Ferris Bueller, You're My Hero

My poor Benjy is sick again this week. Stupid fevers.  He keeps waking up from nightmares of Sleeping Beauty’s dragon in a panic. He’s never been one to have bad dreams, so I tried to tell him that his high fever is the cause-- not the fiery breath of a dragon, but he doesn’t believe me. 

 

Yesterday, both Jacob and Benjy stayed home from school. Jacob said he had puked in the middle of the night on Sunday, so I let him stay home to recover. I regretted that decision by 10 a.m. when he was bouncing balls against the walls and jumping on the furniture. So last night when he army crawled into our bedroom at 4 a.m. and writhed in the floor next to my bed claiming stomach cramps, I was reminded of Ferris Bueller who said:  

 

“The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.”

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

I comforted Jacob but told him he should get some rest because he was going back to school today.

“Okay,” he said.  “But, If I get sick again, I’ll alert you like this: ‘Squawk, squawk, squawk!” he told me, flapping his arms like a chicken. There really is no cure for I-don’t-want-to-go-to-school-itis.

Chris put him on the bus to school this morning, but he wasn’t happy about it. “Why does Benjy get to stay home and have all the fun?” he pouted.

Fun? Is that what we call this? Microwaved coffee, endless repeats of Fraggle Rock and trash cans of puke? I think I’d rather go to school.