As you might imagine, it can be somewhat overwhelming to move to a new place and have the challenge of making new friends all over again--especially if you're 6 and 2. Both of my boys tend to be shy around new people, a response which Chris describes as an "inherent survival gene that prevented prehistoric man from being eaten..."
Anyway, the result is that I have been wearing a Benjy scarf for the past couple of weeks, and Jacob tends to hide behind my legs when we are meeting new people. While the Benjy scarf has been helpful in keeping me warm in this cold Virginia winter, Spring is on the way, and it will soon be too hot for a Benjy scarf. Not to mention that a new little brother will join us in less than 2 weeks now.
So in an attempt to help them overcome their shyness and make new friends, I have been taking Benjy to every toddler event in Falls Church, Va., and I have been trying to teach Jacob some important friend making skills. I explained to Jacob-- who is much easier to reason with than Benjy-- that the best way to make friends is to introduce yourself to other kids and ask them if they want to play with you. My attempts to make introductions for him to other children seem to embarrass him more, so I decided that I would act as coach instead of liaison--at least most of the time. Sometimes I just can't help myself.
So here's how that conversation with Jacob went:
Lisa: Jacob, you know that in order to make new friends, you have to talk to other people. It's easy. You just tell them your name, and ask them if they want to play. They'll say yes.
Jacob: I have a better idea, Mommy. I'll just use sign language.
Lisa: Do you know any sign language, Jacob? I mean, besides I love you, because that might be a little forward.
Jacob: Well, yeah, I know I love you...and rainbow...(he does both of these signs, which I can neither confirm nor deny the correctness of).
Lisa: Ok, that's a good start, but don't you think it would be easier to just use your words?
Jacob: No. I also know up, down, left, and right. (He shows me these signs as well).
Lisa: So, Jacob, you think that you should walk up to someone and say I love you, rainbow, left, right, up, down?
Jacob: Yep.
Lisa: Well, ok. Let me know how that works out for you.
Apparently, Jacob's technique has been working for him, because he has been making lots of new friends. And as for the Benjy scarf-- it's getting a little looser.
I am once again in Awe of not only my nephews inherent personality skills but how awesome you all are. Don't tell Chris though he might get a big head and think he's cool
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